Battle Hearts Read online

  Battle Hearts

  Nina Levine

  To Anthony & Leanne

  * * *

  I never knew how hard your journey was.

  “Strong back. Soft front. Wild heart.”

  ~ Brené Brown

  Contents

  Battle Hearts

  Dear Reader

  Part I

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Part II

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  Chapter 36

  Chapter 37

  Chapter 38

  Chapter 39

  Chapter 40

  Chapter 41

  Also by Nina Levine

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  Battle Hearts

  A STORM MC RELOADED NOVEL

  The harder the battle, the sweeter the victory.

  I don’t believe that.

  Not when we’ve lost almost everything.

  * * *

  I married Winter knowing what I was walking into.

  He married me knowing the same.

  We started out full of hope.

  Love, family, the club.

  We would have it all.

  We would do whatever it took to build our family.

  We would stand together through everything.

  But how does a couple do that when they’ve been ravaged by loss?

  We’re about to find out, because the biggest battles we’ve ever faced are breathing down on us and if we don’t cling to each other, we may lose the one thing we swore we'd never lose.

  We may lose us.

  * * *

  The explosive and emotional finale of the Storm MC Reloaded series.

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  * * *

  If you’re on Facebook, I have a reader group you can join to chat about my books with me, enter exclusive giveaways and read sneak peeks of upcoming books.

  * * *

  Storm MC Series

  * * *

  1. Storm

  2. Fierce

  3. Blaze

  4. Revive

  5. Slay

  5.5 Sassy Christmas

  6. Illusive

  7. Command

  8. Havoc

  * * *

  Once you finish the original Storm MC series, check out the other MC series in the Storm world.

  * * *

  Sydney Storm MC Series

  * * *

  1. Relent

  2. Nitro's Torment

  3. Devil's Vengeance

  4. Hyde's Absolution

  5. King's Wrath

  6. King's Reign

  7. King: The Epilogue Collection

  * * *

  Storm MC Reloaded Series

  * * *

  1. Hurricane Hearts

  2. War of Hearts

  3. Christmas Hearts

  4. Battle Hearts

  * * *

  Contains Adult Sexual Situations & Language

  Dear Reader

  Thank you so much for picking my book up! When there are so many books out there you could choose to read, I am so grateful you chose mine.

  * * *

  NOTE ABOUT BATTLE HEARTS

  * * *

  This series NEEDS to be read in order. Please, if you haven’t read Hurricane Hearts & War of Hearts, don’t read this book! You could technically skip Christmas Hearts (although, I wouldn’t).

  * * *

  We met Winter & Birdie in Hurricane Hearts.

  Then we learned about the battle the club is facing in War of Hearts.

  Now, in Battle Hearts, we’re going back to when Winter & Birdie first married. This book starts off just after the events of the Epilogue in Hurricane Hearts. You’ll then see Winter grow and change as the Storm President and at one point in the story, it’ll pick up right where War of Hearts ended.

  This is why you should not read this book without reading the other two. The timelines weave between books.

  * * *

  I hope you love reading it as much as I LOVED writing it!

  * * *

  Nina xx

  Part I

  1

  Winter

  * * *

  I rest my shoulder against the doorjamb of our bedroom en suite and watch my wife as she does her hair. She’s so engrossed in what she’s doing that she doesn’t notice me. Either that, or she’s deep in thought about what the day ahead holds that she doesn’t realise I’m watching. Whatever the reason, I’m glad; it gives me this time to slow down, take the breath I need, and soak Birdie in before our lives change in a way I’m not sure either of us are ready for.

  “What are you thinking?” she asks as she finishes with the hairdryer.

  “That you’ve never looked more beautiful than you do today.” I push off from my spot and walk to her, our eyes meeting in the mirror.

  My heart kicks over faster when her face sparkles with the kind of smile that grips me hard. “You say that nearly every day, Winter. I mean, I’ll take it, but—”

  Reaching around, I silence her with a finger to her lips. “No buts. It’s true, angel. But today there’s something different about you. You’re softer somehow.” I bend to kiss her bare shoulder before looking at her again. “I like it.”

  Her smile stays put, and she glows with whatever is causing the softer emotion blazing from her. It’s enough to damn near make me bend her over and fuck her, but Birdie’s on edge about sex today, refusing to allow me anywhere near her. Something about not wanting to mess with our chances during the IVF cycle we’re embarking on. It’s bullshit—the doctor has advised sex is okay at the moment—but when my wife gets an idea in her head, she’s stubborn. And I refuse to fuck with her flow so I’m not arguing with her.

  Keeping her eyes on me, she runs her fingers through her hair. “How are you feeling about everything? Like, really feeling?”

  We’ve talked about what lies ahead for what seems like nearly every minute of our time together the last few weeks. I’m talked out, but I know Birdie isn’t. If she had her way, we wouldn’t sleep; we’d stay up all night talking about it some more. I love her like I’ve never loved anyone, so I’ve stayed patient with it all, but at this point, I’m ready for action, not more discussion.

  Spinning her to face me, I cup her cheek and brush my thumb over her lips. “You know how I’m feeling.”

  Her eyes flare and she pulls my hand from her face. If her expression is anything to go by, I’ve pissed her off, but that’s not a given because Birdie’s emotions are all over the place, and with each passing day, I struggle to get a handle on them. One minute she’s up, the next down, and fuck knows what will trigger her. “Don’t do that.” The barb in her tone lets me know I’ve definitely upset her.

  “We’ve gone over this a thousand times—”

  “Yes, and I want to go over i
t again. You’re always so sure and so calm when we discuss it, while I’m over here, flailing around like I’m trying to stop myself from drowning. Some days it takes more effort to breathe than others, Winter, and I’m just wondering if I’m the only one here feeling this way.” Her hands come to my chest and she grips my shirt. “Tell me I’m not alone in this worry, and confusion, and feelings of inadequacy.”

  My arms go around her without thought and I pull her tightly against me. “You’re not alone, angel. I feel those things, too, but I refuse to give in to them. We’re going to get through this appointment today and tomorrow we’re going to get started on making a baby. I’ll be by your side every step of the way, and when you’re feeling worried or confused or inadequate or anything, I’ll be there to do whatever you need me to do to help you believe again. Because we will get through this, Birdie. Together. And just so you know, you are as fucking far from inadequate as you can get. Just because we need help getting pregnant doesn’t fucking make you inadequate.”

  Tears fill her eyes as she hooks a hand around my neck, stands on her toes, and kisses me. It’s not a quick kiss; it’s the kind of touch I’ve been craving from her since I woke up, and fuck if it doesn’t stir need deep in my gut.

  When she lets me go, I say, “You wanna kiss me like that, we’re gonna have to revisit the no sex ruling you have in place.”

  A myriad of emotions cross her face. First, a sexy smile. Then an anxious expression. After that, she bites her lip and says, “We need to discuss that some more with the doctor. I’ve read so many conflicting articles about it.”

  “You need to stop reading shit online and just listen to what the doctor has already told us.”

  More biting of her lip. “But what if there’s something to these articles? What if having sex is the one thing that could harm our chances? It’s not like the cycle takes months and months. Surely we can go without sex for this length of time.”

  “Baby, I can go without it for as long as needed. I’m more concerned about your anxiety over this. As far as I’m concerned, that shit is more harmful than me fucking you.”

  My phone sounds with a text, interrupting our conversation.

  “Fuck,” I mutter, knowing it’ll be my vice president with new information likely to give me a headache. Our club is in the middle of shit with Zenith, a gang determined to take as much drug business from Storm as possible, and after nine months of this, tensions have escalated to new levels over the past two weeks.

  “You should check that,” Birdie says, and I love my wife a little bit more if that’s possible. She never gives me hell over the club or the amount of time I’ve been away from her since she moved to Melbourne just over eight months ago. Club problems have kept me away a fuckload more than I would have preferred.

  I reach into my pocket for my phone.

  * * *

  Ransom: We lost two more customers to Zenith overnight. We may need to take a trip to sort this out.

  Me: I’ll be in around lunchtime. Will discuss then.

  * * *

  As I shove my phone back in my pocket, Birdie says, “You have to take another trip?”

  “Not an overnighter.”

  “I’m good if you have to go away longer. I can manage everything on my own.”

  We’ve spent weeks going back and forth over when to begin IVF. I wanted to wait until things with the club settle down, but Birdie pushed for us to start now. She argued we’d be waiting forever for the perfect moment, and because I would give her the world if I could, I agreed. But fuck if I’ll allow her to go through any of this journey alone. I’ve made that mistake once; I won’t make it again.

  Shaking my head, I say, “I’m not going away. It’s a day trip only.”

  “Yeah, but if you need to—”

  I take hold of her face with both hands. “The only thing I need to do is be here with you.” My words come out with more force than I intend, but that’s because the emotion coursing through me is extreme. I feel it so fucking deeply I can’t help but express it.

  Her eyes flare again, but this time I haven’t upset her. This time she curls her fingers around my biceps and grips me hard as she says, “I love you.” She then gives me her lips, exactly how I want them, and I’m pulled further under her spell. After all these years of knowing her, that spell is boundless, and she weaves it over me in ways I’ve never imagined. Ways I would willingly chase down just to give her more of myself.

  “Fuck, angel,” I rasp when she shifts her hands to my chest and then down to my stomach. Letting her go, I take a step back to separate us. “We’ve gotta leave in fifteen minutes, and there’s no way we’re meeting that deadline if you keep this up.”

  She opens her mouth to speak, but her phone rings, distracting her. Glancing at it, she says, “It’s Cleo.”

  “Talk to her.” I press one last kiss to her lips. “Just keep it quick.” Fuck knows those two could talk for a full twenty-four hours without coming up for air if they had the time.

  She waves me away, reading my tone perfectly. “Go do some boy stuff or something.”

  I leave her to take the call. Cleo is what she needs right now. Her best friend will help calm her nerves in ways I can’t. And I need the space that Cleo offers with that call, too. I need a breather to get my head sorted before we leave for our appointment.

  Life as we know it is about to change, and while I’m keeping strong for Birdie, I’ve had moments of concern that once we start down this path, shit will be out of our control. Completely fucking out of my control. And that’s not a place I ever like to be.

  2

  Birdie

  * * *

  “How are you guys doing?” Cleo asks as I watch Winter leave the bathroom. The thing that stands out the most about him today is the fierce way he’s holding himself. My husband is always a take-charge kinda guy, but even more so today. It’s something I love about him, but right now, I could do with hearing some of his fears. With seeing a little more vulnerability from him so I know I’m not alone in all my feelings and thoughts that are making me feel irrational and completely out of my depth.

  Exhaling a long breath, because I have so much excess breath inside me, it isn’t funny, I say, “Well, Winter has his shit together, but I don’t. Thank God for him is all I can say.”

  “Birdie, you can do this.” She says the words with so much belief and determination and love it’s like a hug through the phone.

  She and I have spent so much time on the phone the last month while she’s pep-talked the hell out of me over this IVF journey. I was doing so well with it until yesterday. Today I’m a bundle of nerves and barely recognise myself with the crazy thoughts running through my mind.

  “Yes, I can,” I say, trying hard to fully believe what I’m saying. The problem is I know myself well, and while I know I can physically do whatever I need to, I’m not so sure I’ll mentally get through it unscathed. All the what-ifs are swarming in my head, filling it with pressure, and we haven’t even started the cycle yet.

  “Remember when we went for our first business loan and how nervous you were?”

  “Yes.” I was as messy as I am now.

  “Think about how that turned out and how it helped you grow and bloom into the amazing woman you are today.” Her voice softens. “You are so much stronger than you think you are. When I think of the things you’ve done in your life, I’m in awe. You’ve lived through some tough times, Birdie, and you didn’t just survive them, you flourished in spite of them. You might feel fragile sometimes, but trust me when I tell you that you are one of the least fragile women I know.”

  “Jesus, woman, you’re going to make me cry.” I swallow and blink back the tears threatening to fall. “Thank you.” My words come out almost as a whisper because I’m suddenly consumed by the kind of emotion that steals my ability to speak.

  “Promise me you’ll remember one thing, babe: sometimes the bravest thing you can do is just show up.”

 
I smile and allow my tears to fall. Cleo has just quoted Brené Brown to me because she knows I need that kind of inspiration today. “For the record, you are both the best friend anyone could have and the worst best friend anyone could have. I now have to fix my face because you made me cry.”

  I hear her grin through the phone when she says, “My job here is done.”

  “I love you, Cleo.”

  “Not as much as I love you. Now, something tells me you should hang up because if I know your man as well as I think I do, he’s got a schedule for you guys to stick to and it probably involves being early for your appointment.”