Hurricane Hearts Read online

  He sighed, his usual level of frustration with my choices in life evident. Besides frustration, I heard the weariness and grief in his voice. But Max wasn’t one for emotions so this would take him years to process fully. I wasn’t convinced he’d processed Mum’s death yet. “Not good.”

  I figured that was all I’d get out of him, so I left it. I’d see for myself soon enough. “I’ll call you when I’m close.”

  “Stay safe.” He wasn’t a fan of bikes and he wasn’t a fan of not being fully prepared and planned for anything in life, so those two words covered a lot.

  I ended the call and shoved my phone in my pocket as I turned to locate my keys.

  Dad’s dead.

  There’s no more of anything with him.

  Ever.

  It hit me fair in the gut, and I doubled over as the pain forced itself through me.

  Fuck, he’s only 59. And healthy. He shouldn’t be dead.

  My chest crushed in on my heart and I gulped for air.

  I blindly reached for something to grip on to, to hold myself up because, fuck, the room was spinning and I was about to hit the floor.

  Just as I felt myself going down, Birdie moved in close and wrapped her arms around me. She steadied me and kept me vertical.

  We stood together for the longest time. Arms around each other. Her cheek to my chest while she squeezed me like she was trying to save me.

  By the time I moved out of her embrace, I’d managed to get my shit together. I pushed everything I was feeling down deep. The only thing I allowed in were thoughts about getting to Brisbane. The best course of action right now was to be methodical about everything that had to be done. I’d crack open everything else later.

  “You’re leaving for Brisbane now?” Birdie asked, looking up at me.

  “Yeah.”

  “I’m going with you.”

  I swiped my keys up off the coffee table. “No.”

  “No?” She stared at me in the way she did whenever I said something she couldn’t believe. There was always the beginning of a challenge in there, too, and I could hear it tonight. Hell, Birdie was stubborn as fuck when she wanted to be.

  “Yeah, no. Not happening. I’m doing this alone.” She had shit to do here in Sydney; she didn’t need to be along for the journey of burying my father.

  “Yeah, no. Not happening. We’re doing this together,” she threw back, laying the challenge right at my feet like the Birdie I loved. Then, softening her tone a little, she added, “I loved your dad, Winter. And I don’t want you alone right now.”

  Fuck, that screwed up my thoughts. She might have been shutting down on me before, but this was far from shutting down. This was Birdie opening wide for me. “I’m taking the bike. You’ll have to pack light.”

  “I know the drill.”

  She was right; she did. Birdie had come on every road trip I’d ever done while we were together. She’d often told me the back of my bike was her second favourite place in the world. Her first had been in my arms.

  “I don’t know when I’m coming back.”

  “I can fly home if I need to.”

  “Fuck. You’ll be too much of a distraction, Angel. Max and I have shit to discuss.” Shit we’d been putting off for far too long. Shit I needed to be completely focused for.

  “I promise I won’t.”

  “Yeah, you will.” And yet, I couldn’t say no to her. I lifted my chin towards the front door. “Leave your car here. You’ve had too much to drink.” Thank fuck I’d only had two beers.

  Without argument, she did as I said.

  I shot Carey a text to let him know what was happening and then I waited as Birdie settled her ass on the back of my bike. When her arms came around me and she pressed her body to mine, and murmured, “I’m not going to let you shut down your grief like you did when your mum died,” I knew this might not have been the best idea of hers I’d ever agreed to.

  10

  BIRDIE

  Sitting on the back of Winter’s bike gave me a lot of time to think about everything that had happened between us. That was happening between us. Before he received the call about his dad, I’d been ready to forget all my reasons why I shouldn’t sleep with him. I had forgotten them in the time between Winter first kissing me and then getting me naked. The minute he’d mentioned a condom and falling pregnant, it had all slammed back into me. But my attraction to him was too great, and I’d been unable to pull away. All I’d wanted was one more night with him. One night to forget my past mistakes. To pretend he was mine again. To let him love me the way I desperately wanted him to.

  And now, after turning everything over in my mind for the past six or so hours, I was fixated on what he’d said about cheating being his only hard limit. “I don’t give a fuck what else happened that you think would stop us from being together.” That’s what he’d said, and maybe, just maybe, I could tell him what I’d done and he’d accept it. “And, baby, when two people love each other the way we did, there’s not fucking much worth holding onto.” I’d truly believed him when he’d said that, and hope was building deep inside that maybe he’d be able to move past my deception.

  But first, we had to get through his father’s funeral and everything else that needed to be taken care of. I didn’t know how Winter’s relationship with his brother was these days, but it had been strained five years ago and for many years before that. Max’s wife, Melissa, was the cause of that tension, so I doubted much had changed. If that was the case, Winter was in for hard times, and I was determined to help him through them. We might not have been together for the last five years, but my love for him had never lessened. This man’s happiness was important to me, and I’d stand by his side for as long as he needed, just like he’d stood by me when my father had died.

  “What are you thinking, Angel?”

  I jumped at his voice. I’d been deep in thought standing in front of the drink fridge at the servo we’d stopped at in Coffs Harbour. Winter had left me to go to the men’s room and I hadn’t heard him coming up behind me.

  I realised just how close he was when I spun around to face him. “You could give a girl some notice,” I said, a little breathless at his close proximity. God, even after all these years, Winter still sent my heart racing and scattered my thoughts. No man had ever come close to making me feel the way he did.

  He smiled, but it wasn’t his usual sexy smile. This one was filled with exhaustion and the grief he wasn’t showing but was definitely feeling. Winter never shared much when he was hurting. He was good at showing his happiness, but when presented with situations that brought pain, he didn’t want to talk much about it. He usually just wanted to get on with life and tended to focus on the practicalities instead of the feelings. He was a lot like his brother and his father in that respect. Not that Winter would ever agree he was like his brother.

  “Well?” he prodded. “Are you regretting your decision to come?”

  “No, I wasn’t thinking about that. And I don’t regret it. I was just thinking about Max and Melissa, wondering if she’s still causing issues between you and him.”

  Exhaling a long breath that spoke volumes about his weariness over the situation, he nodded. “Yeah, she is.”

  “So you guys still own your mum’s house?”

  When she’d passed away, his mum had left him and Max her family home that she’d grown up in. Her father had built it himself and Winter had spent a lot of his childhood there. Melissa wanted to sell it, but Winter refused, and that had caused huge issues for him and his brother when Max had tried to push him to agree to the sale.

  “Yes, not for lack of Melissa trying to force my hand. But it’s not like they desperately need the cash. I’d sell if that were the case.”

  I loved Winter’s strong family values and how he felt so strongly about holding onto a piece of their family history.

  “I hate that she’s being like that. I’d hoped she would come to her senses over it all.” Melissa had always been d
ifficult, especially with Winter, and I’d struggled to connect with her when she’d married Max. But I’d worked hard to build a friendship because Winter had needed me to. He’d needed me to be the bridge between them at times, to help them navigate their rocky relationship so that their problems didn’t put a permanent wedge between him and his brother.

  He turned silent for a beat, emotion filling his eyes. The kind of emotion that caused warmth to pool in my belly. Winter didn’t often do soft, but the way he was looking at me was every kind of soft a girl could ever want. “She hasn’t changed, Birdie. The only thing that’s changed is the fact I don’t have you to run interference anymore, and fuck if I haven’t missed that.”

  I forgot my left from my right.

  The warmth in my belly spread.

  Every skin cell tingled.

  Shit, this isn’t the time to feel all these feelings. Not when his dad just died and he needs to focus on that.

  Doing my best to push my feelings to the side, I spun around to face the drink fridge and grabbed a bottle of water out before looking back at him. “We should get back on the road.”

  The words blurted from me in a bewildered mess. Winter didn’t miss any of it. As I tried to push past him to walk to the counter and purchase my drink, his hand curled around my arm. “Don’t shut down on me again, Birdie.”

  Not wanting to make eye contact with him, I glanced at his hand where it burned heat into my skin. The timing for this was all off. After trying to push Winter away, I was ready to open myself up to him, but I didn’t want to go down that path and distract him from dealing with his father’s death.

  Taking a deep breath, I met his gaze again. “I’m not shutting down on you. I just don’t think now is the time to get into this.” Not even when every fibre of my being is drawn to you and screaming at me to throw myself at you.

  Winter’s eyes didn’t give me a second of reprieve. They refused to let go of mine as he angled his face down. “I need you like I’ve never needed you.” Grief clung to every syllable he uttered. His words bled with anguish. “In every way, Angel.”

  Time stood still as the harsh white lights in the service station faded into oblivion. The stark silence surrounding us also ceased to exist as Winter’s pain became my pain. This man carried his suffering deep inside. He never asked for help and he sure as hell never laid himself open like he just had.

  God, how I didn’t want this for him.

  All I wanted was to take his hurt and heal his heart, but I knew that wasn’t something I could do. What I could do was give him what he asked for. Where that would take us, I didn’t know, but saying no to him again wasn’t something I was capable of. Not now. Not when he stood in front of me, a broken man.

  Placing my hand over his, I said, “I’m here for you, Winter. However you need me.”

  11

  WINTER

  Family was everything even when it was the hardest thing in the world. As I pulled my brother in for a hug when we arrived at his place after the nearly twelve-hour ride to Brisbane, I knew a storm was coming. The way Melissa greeted me coolly gave me that heads-up. And having an idea of what was in Dad’s will meant I knew the storm was going to get wild. As far as I was concerned, though, family was worth fighting for, and I’d go down swinging if I had to.

  “Good trip?” Max asked when I let him go. He wasn’t big on displays of affection and looked uncomfortable after I hugged him. That trait wasn’t one I’d inherited or learned from our father like he had, and since I liked to push my brother, I pulled him in for a hug as often as I could when we were together.

  “Yeah, good trip. There were no assholes on the road,” I said.

  His attention shifted to Birdie who moved next to me after saying hi to Melissa. “Hey, Birdie. Long time no see.” Glancing between us, a look of confusion on his face, he added, “Winter didn’t tell me you guys were back together.”

  I waited with interest for her response. Not that we were back together, but I wanted to see if she’d trip over the thought. If she’d rush to deny it.

  Hitting him with an easy smile, she shook her head. “We’re not.”

  She didn’t stumble over it for a moment, didn’t deny it like it was the last thing she wanted, and in the midst of darkness, I glimpsed some light. Hell, just having Birdie by my side for this trip let me breathe a little easier. Although I hadn’t wanted to say yes to her coming, now that she was here, I couldn’t imagine doing it without her. The last twelve hours had been hell as I’d turned everything over in my mind, but Birdie sitting on the back of my bike with her arms wrapped tightly around me had gone a long way to easing some of that hell.

  Melissa eyed me one last time before turning to face the hallway and calling out, “Boys, it’s time to go.” The look she gave me matched her cool mood, and I got the distinct impression it didn’t have anything to do with Dad’s death.

  Jesse and Thomas trudged into the living room where we stood, sadness etched into their features. They’d always been close with their grandfather, so I’d expected his passing to hit them hard, which it appeared it had.

  They both perked up a little when they saw me, but after we exchanged hugs, they grew despondent again.

  “Do we have to go?” Jesse asked his father, his voice as flat as he was. When I looked closer at him, I noticed his red-rimmed eyes.

  Fuck, he’s too young to lose his grandfather.

  “Yes.” Melissa gripped his arm and directed him to the front door. “Your coach expects to see you for practice today.”

  I was unable to stop myself from suggesting, “Surely one day off practice is acceptable.” Fuck, he was only ten and grieving. He didn’t need to be there today.

  Her lips flattened so hard it caused the skin around them to turn white. “This is none of your business, Matt. But if you must know, we’re trying to get Jesse on the state team. Not showing up today could go against him.”

  I opened my mouth to respond, but Birdie’s hand curled around my arm in the way it always had when she wanted me to think about what I was about to say. Looking down at her, I found compassion and kindness in her eyes. And I knew she was right—arguing with Melissa over this would only bring more tension to an already stressful situation. And it certainly wouldn’t cause her to change her mind. Melissa was as bullheaded as I was.

  Stepping aside, I watched her and the kids leave before saying to Max, “I could do with a coffee.”

  “Yeah,” he said gruffly. “I could too.”

  I had zero fucking clue how he put up with Melissa. How he allowed her to walk all over him. I wasn’t a man who liked to control my woman but fuck if I’d put up with the shit he did. He knew I felt that way. And I knew by the avoidance blazing from him that he knew exactly what thoughts were running through my mind. This would be just one more thing to come between us.

  The battleground the relationship between him, Melissa, and me had become was a fucking minefield I was tired of. Adding to it every time we saw each other wasn’t something I wanted to continue doing, but I feared he was drifting further away from me so I kept showing up trying to build a bridge back to him. Sometimes it felt so hard to reach him that it physically hurt.

  Birdie took charge the minute we entered the kitchen. “You two sit down and catch up. I’ll make the coffee.”

  Max glanced at the kettle and then at Birdie, nodding. It was painfully obvious, though, that he’d rather make coffee and fill another few minutes with activity than sit and talk.

  “What are your plans?” he asked as he took the seat across from me at the long dining table that was as perfectly tidy as the rest of his home. I wanted to stand on the fucking thing and dirty it with my boots. That would piss Melissa off and maybe we’d finally get the almighty showdown we all desperately needed.

  But, I didn’t. Mum raised me with enough manners not to do something like that the day after our father died. The time would come, though, and I was more than ready for that confrontation.


  “Once we’ve organised the funeral, we need to make a plan to go through Dad’s place and clean it out,” I said.

  Max’s fingers began drumming on the table like I knew they would. It was one of the coping mechanisms he’d used since childhood when nervous. One that had annoyed the hell out of me as a child. It didn’t so much anymore. Not with the patience the military had drilled into me.

  “Yeah, but how long do you plan to stay here?” he asked.

  “As in here at your place?”

  “Yeah.”

  I drew in a long breath and slowly released it. This conversation wasn’t going anywhere good. If I was sure of anything right now, it was that.

  “We can leave any time you need us to, brother.”

  He ground his teeth together, a grimace working its way out across his cheeks. “That’s not what I said, Matt.” The use of my name signalled his mood. When he was in an easy mood, he used the nickname I’d been given in my twenties. When he was tense, it was always Matt.

  “No, but it’s what you’re thinking. And I’m good with that if it’s what you need to get through this.” It was the last thing I wanted, but what I wanted more was for my brother not to be hit harder than he already was by Dad’s death.

  He stopped drumming his fingers for a few beats before starting back up, deep in contemplation. “We’ve got the kids to think of. They need routine. Maybe stay a couple of days and then see how they are.”

  It was my turn to grind my teeth. The words out of his mouth were not my brother’s words. They were his wife’s words, and that shit pissed me off. This had nothing to do with the kids or their routine and everything to do with Max bowing down to whatever Melissa dictated.

  “Here’s your coffees,” Birdie said, cutting into my thoughts and giving us a break in the conversation right as it had been about to go downhill at a rapid rate of knots.

  Max gave her a tight smile. “Thanks, Birdie.”