Storm MC Collection Books 1 - 4 (Motorcycle Club Romance) Read online

  My brain couldn’t function properly when he was so close to me. His smell engulfed me and I wanted to reach out to touch him, taste him. It was too much and I tried to push him away, but he grabbed my hand and pulled me closer. Our bodies touched and I felt it not only physically, but also in my soul. He bent and breathed in the scent of me too. “Fuck, you smell so fucking good.” He groaned as he pressed even closer so that I could feel his erection against me.

  My body took over and I reached my hand up to wrap around his neck while lifting my lips to his. Our eyes met and I could see the same need in his that I had. His arms encircled me, and he ran one hand over my ass before tilting his head and finally kissing me. God, it felt so good. With his hands roaming over me, his lips and tongue devouring me, a thrill ran through me. A deep and uncontrollable urge took over and I pushed myself right into him; I needed to get as close as I possibly could. My hands gripped his hair and I plunged my tongue into his mouth, kissing him hard. He groaned again and that sound set me off even more. Fuck, I couldn’t get enough of him. It had been so long without his touch. I needed more.

  J suddenly pushed me away and raked his hand through his hair, looking utterly torn. “Fuck!” he sputtered.

  I was still trying to get my wits about me, my brain scrambling from that kiss, and I was confused about what Nash had said. Keeping my mouth shut would never get me answers. Looking J dead in the eyes, I demanded, “What did Nash mean by that?”

  “Exactly what he fucking said, babe.”

  I scrunched my eyebrows together, still not getting it. “You still want me?”

  “Jesus, how many other ways do you need it said? I never stopped wanting you,” he replied in a gruff voice.

  I threw my hands up in the air. “Well, why the fuck did you tell me to leave?” I yelled, my anger growing.

  “You needed to get out, get away from the club and all the shit that had gone down. You needed to deal with your drinking and I thought you could do that better somewhere else.”

  “No! You don’t get to say that. That’s a load of shit, J. Tell me the real fucking reason.” Deep down, I knew there had to be more. I always had but it was easier just to let it sit there in my subconscious rather than trying to work it out.

  He was exasperated by my outburst and I momentarily wondered if I had pushed him too far. “I had to. The club…” he paced wildly, “…the club needed you gone.”

  “What?” I held my breath, waiting for his explanation. None of this was making any sense .

  He stopped pacing and fixed pained eyes on me; he was calmer now too, like he had settled something in his mind. “Baby, you need to know that I never wanted you to leave. But after what happened with Nix, the club swore blood, and we needed you gone to be able to do that. There was no way Nix would give you up if you were still here so we arranged for that job with Gina and sent you away.” He came closer to me again and reached for my hand, holding it. “The only reason I told you that I didn’t love you anymore was to make sure you would leave. I did it for your safety. You’ve gotta know that. I did love you. I still fucking do.”

  “No! You said you didn’t want me. I moved on!” I shouted, getting in his face. I was really angry now. How dare the club control my life like that, and how dare he give me up for the fucking club.

  “Are you listening to me, Madison? Did you hear me say—”

  I cut him off and shoved at him. “It’s too fucking late, J. You gave up on us. You took the club’s side like you always did. I didn’t need revenge on Nix. I just needed out from him and I was out.”

  J glowered at me and took a step back. “Let’s get one thing straight, right now. I did not give up on us. And I did not fucking take the club’s side every time,” he thundered. “But babe, you’ve gotta understand that when the club rules like they did, I got no choice.”

  I stabbed a finger at him. “And that right there is the fucking problem! We never had a chance with the club controlling us.”

  “Madison, the club ruled and I followed through. Jesus, babe, you grew up in the club, you know how it works. Our problems weren’t to do with the club.”

  “Well, the club had a lot to do with them. The club and its way of dealing with shit.”

  He cocked his head to the side and studied me for a moment. “What exactly are we talking about now?” he asked, and I wished I had kept my mouth shut. I didn’t want to have this conversation today.

  “J, this conversation is pointless—”

  He came closer to me again, his breathing ragged and his face a picture of anger. Bending down to meet my eyes, he spat, “I fucking tell you that I still love you, and you tell me this conversation is pointless?”

  And just like that, the anger seeped out of me and all I felt was desire. J had invaded my space and my senses again, and telling me he still loved me only heightened my craving for him. I knew I needed to get out of here. I couldn’t think straight when he was so close. I really needed to sort through my conflicting thoughts and feelings.

  “I’m waiting for an answer, Madison. Is this conversation pointless?”

  “I don’t know, J, okay. I need some time to think,” I finally answered him.

  He stood up straight, his eyes intense and focused on mine. He took a moment and then said, “I’ll give you some time. But then we talk. And babe, we will talk about every fucking thing we should have talked about two years ago.”

  With that, he turned and left me alone; alone to contemplate the conversation that we would finally be having. He was absolutely right. There were things that should have been said all those years ago; things that I still found hard to even think about, let alone talk about.

  Shit.

  But first, I needed to sort out the mess of feelings I was having about J. Why the fuck couldn’t life ever be easy?

  12

  Madison

  The day passed fairly uneventfully after my run in with J. He left with Scott and some of the other guys to take care of something. I wasn’t sure what it was they were doing but then again, I was never privy to that sort of information. And, yeah, it pissed me off. That was something that J never understood. He never shared club business with me, unlike some of the other club members who talked stuff through with their old ladies. I had wanted to be involved in J’s life fully and that meant club life as well. I didn’t expect to be told everything, but to be told nothing kind of hurt. It made me feel like I was only a part of some of J’s life.

  Hanging out at the clubhouse for most of the morning, I caught up with friends I hadn’t seen in years. I loved that aspect of club life, the social side. These were my people; I had grown up here and felt totally comfortable. I loved living in Coffs Harbour but there was something peaceful about coming home to where I was accepted and loved without reservation.

  After lunch, I headed to visit my mum. My parents lived about twenty minutes away so one of the guys took me. As we pulled up to the house, I was hit with the memories of growing up. Mum and Dad had given Scott and I a good life. We had been surrounded by lots of love in the form of club family. I remembered tons of get togethers with the boys and their families; parties, barbeques, you name it, my mum was always organising something. My dad may have been the club president, but my mother played a huge part in keeping it all together and running smoothly. I didn’t know how aware she was of the day-to-day business of the club but I truly believed that she was the strong woman who stood behind my father and supported him in everything he did.

  Sharon Cole was a woman who most people tried not to mess with. She was a hard-as-nails, straight-up, ballsy woman who loved fiercely, and lived and breathed Storm. Her father had been a member of Storm, and she too had grown up in the life. She had met my father when he joined the club and the rest was history. They had been through a lot and had built Storm up to be the club it was today: a force to be reckoned with. Storm had a reputation for getting the job done and it was a club that others didn’t fuck with, although that rep
utation had really only come about over the last few years.

  Even though I hadn’t had much to do with Storm since I left, I had heard whisperings from friends about the lengths the club would go to in order to protect its business dealings, its members and their loved ones. As much as I wasn’t aware of within the club, I wasn’t naïve; I had seen enough to know there was a lot of violence involved, and it seemed that this had only intensified. I struggled with that when I dated J; he had sometimes come home bloodied and bruised, and when I asked about it, he always told me it was club business and I didn’t need to know. Thinking about my mother, I wondered how she dealt with that side of Storm. We had never talked about it but perhaps it was something I needed to ask her; perhaps learning how to deal with it would help me move past what had happened with Rob.

  I never knew just what J was capable of until Rob. I shuddered thinking about it, but the thing was, I had to think about it. I had pushed it to the deep recesses of my mind for too long. It had everything to do with why J and I broke up, so in order for me to start sorting through my feelings about him, I needed to work through that first.

  “So, I hear you’re staying,” Mum said as she made us coffee. She had been happy to see me and I could hear the relief in her voice.

  I smiled; it was so good to see her. “Yes.” I took a moment to get the words out right. “I haven’t wanted to come back because I wasn’t sure how I would cope with everything here. I thought that seeing J again would he hard and, to be honest, I was trying to get away from the club. But you know what? I think I’ve missed the club and even though he’s pissing me off, I’m okay with being around J.”

  She nodded. “You were in a pretty bad way when you left, Maddy, but I think you just needed that time away to get your head together. It’s done you good, honey.”

  “I want to stay so I can watch out for Crystal, but being here with you now, I realise I’ve really missed you, even if you are overbearing sometimes,” I said with a cheeky smile.

  Mum laughed. “I’ve been good lately, haven’t I?” she asked.

  “Yeah, Mum, you have. And I need you to let me do things my way if I’ve any chance of starting over here and keeping my shit together. Okay?”

  She held up her hands. “Okay, okay. So, what’s your plan? Do you want to move in here with us until you sort yourself out? I know your father would love to have you here.”

  “He’s got a funny way of showing it. He bit my head off yesterday.”

  “He is very stressed at the moment with what is happening with Nix. Honey, he’s been worried about you and, yeah, pissed off with you. He just wanted you home where he knew you were safe and all you did was fight it. He and Scott have been constantly arguing about you and I’ve got to say, it’s been pretty hard living with him the last little while. So, I am really happy you are home.”

  “What do you mean they’ve been arguing about me?” I asked, having no clue what she could possibly mean.

  “Your father would have just come and dragged you home, nothing would have stopped him. But Scott stood up to him and argued that it had to be your decision. He understands how hard it’s been for you, and he was so proud of you for quitting drinking; he just didn’t want you to go backwards.”

  Well, fuck me. Scott was actually on my side. News to me. “Men! I can’t fucking work them out,” I said, totally exasperated with it all.

  “Join the club, but I’ll tell you one thing, and you make sure you listen closely. Scott and your father love you and will do anything for you. This vendetta against Nix started after he beat you, and it has only gotten worse since then. It’s put a lot of pressure on Storm and they’ve copped that. For you. So, you need to cut them some slack and start working with them rather than against them.”

  “The problem is that they never give me the full story. You know what they’re like—”

  She cut me off, “Yes, I know exactly what they’re like, Madison, but the difference between you and me is that I trust them. I know in my gut that everything they’re doing is for us and for the club. I don’t need to know the details, but you seem hell bent on having to know every little thing. And you haven’t ever given them your complete trust. Dare I say it, but I think that’s where a lot of your problems with J come from too; you didn’t trust him.”

  “How can I trust any of them when they don’t trust me enough to tell me stuff?” I argued.

  My mother sighed; that sigh I had grown up with that told me she was becoming frustrated with me. “Honey, it’s their way. The club way. It’s what their fathers did and their fathers before them probably; it’s all they’ve ever known and it’s drilled into them when they join. What happens in the club stays in the club. And if you can’t live with that, you should never date another member again.”

  My natural reaction to all of this would normally be to continue arguing but I decided that perhaps it was time to start listening to my mother. She’d been living this life for a long time and knew what she was on about. I’d been fighting these ways for so long, yet it got me nowhere. So, I took a deep breath and asked her a question. “How do you live with the shit that goes on? How do you deal, knowing what Dad is capable of?”

  She didn’t skip a beat. “We’re all capable of bad stuff, Maddy, but the shit they do is done for a reason. We’ve got a lifestyle that needs protecting, and your dad and the boys aren’t afraid to protect it or us. I deal with that by choosing to love your father unconditionally and I make no apologies for it. When you really love a person, you trust them, and believe in them and everything they do.” She cocked her head and gave me a quizzical look. “Are you thinking of getting back with J? Is that what all this is about?”

  “I don’t know what’s happening with J. What I do know is that I need to find a way to be okay with what they do.” And yeah, I also needed to decide if I wanted to be with J again, but I was keeping that to myself.

  “Nothing’s fucking happening with J.” We both jumped as the snarl of Nix’s voice swept through the room.

  I screamed just as one of his guys grabbed me from behind and covered my mouth with his hand. Fear sliced through me, and the stench of sweat and tobacco overwhelmed me. Nausea hit and then the blackness took over.

  When I came to, I was tied to a chair and Nix stood in front of me, leaning down into my face. His hot, acrid breath filled my senses. His eyes were crazy; fuck, he was crazy. Mad. Demented.

  Panic gripped my gut. I knew in that instant that I was as good as dead.

  He ran a calloused finger down my cheek. “Madison, you came back to me.”

  Oh, God. He really was whacked in the head if he thought that. I didn’t say anything, just maintained eye contact with him.

  He stood up straight and my eyes followed him. He looked to his right, and I realised that my mother was also here, tied to a chair. She had tape covering her mouth and blood coming from her head. I was lucky to avoid all that. Her eyes were closed and she was slumped in her chair.

  Nix nodded at a guy who was near my mum. A silent command flowed between them, and the guy hurried off. My foggy brain slowed my thinking and I gave up wondering what that was all about.

  Nix turned his attention back to me. “I’ve missed you, Madison. Bec kept me company for a while, but she could never replace you or what we had. That bitch tried to fuck me over.” He was rambling, and then he laughed shrilly. “She got what she fucking deserved in the end.” His eyes glinted. he was terrifying me, just from his body language.

  I didn’t want to talk to him, but I couldn’t stop myself; I just hope my voice didn’t quiver, giving away my fear. “What are you going to do to us, Nix?” I needed to know.

  “I haven’t quite worked out what I will do with you, but your mother is an unnecessary burden to us, wouldn’t you say? She wouldn’t stop yelling at me before, so I had to fucking knock her out. I don’t need the headache,” he replied. Nausea hit me at the thought of him killing my mum.

  “Let her go and
I’ll do whatever you say,” I frantically tried to negotiate with him.

  He threw his head back and laughed. Then his face contorted into an evil mask and he sneered, “You’ll do whatever the fuck I say anyway, bitch. I’m not fucking bargaining with you for anything.”

  I hated him, but hated myself more for letting him into my life. Because of my past actions, my mother’s life was in danger and there was not a fucking thing I could do about it.

  Jason

  My fist connected with the asshole’s cheek and blood went flying. “I can keep this up, motherfucker, until you tell us where Nix is,” I warned.

  He landed on his ass and looked up at me through feral eyes. “Go to fucking hell,” he snarled and spat blood onto the ground.

  Scott reefed him up from behind and held him in front of me. “Take another shot, brother,” he invited.

  I had enough and was way past pissed off. We’d been going at this for over half an hour and it was time to move it along. I pulled out my gun and stepped closer, putting it to his head. “I’ll make this real fucking easy for you. Start fucking talking,” I thundered.

  He glared at me but saw him weakening under the pressure so when he again refused to give up the information, I aimed the gun at his foot and shot. I took great pleasure in the blood this caused. I craved their fucking blood.

  “Motherfucker!” he screamed in agony, and tried to struggle out of Scott’s hold.

  Oh, yeah, asshole, I was just getting started. I lifted the gun and aimed it at his other foot, and was just about to shoot when he yelled, “Wait! I’ll tell you. Just fucking stop shooting!”

  “Well, hurry the fuck up. We don’t have all day,” I bellowed at him, trying to create some fucking urgency for him to deliver the details.

  “Warehouse on Woods,” he grumbled, and the adrenaline coursed through me with this new information. We were finally going to get that cocksucker. He’d been one step ahead of us for too fucking long; it was time to take him down.